Download Three

I can't believe it is already January 2013. My mother was right, the older you get, time seems to get faster and faster.  Some days you blink and you miss it!

I find myself wondering; am I doing everything I need to do? Am I helping the people I am supposed to help? 

I am confident now that I have done everything to get my sons to adulthood as well-balanced, caring, intelligent and useful young men.  The rest is up to them now.  I don't have as much influence as I used to, or at least imagined that I had. But without a doubt, I will always be there for them, until the day I take my final breath. They are my world, just like their Dad.

Yesterday I attended a memorial service for a friend and work colleague.  Like most of these events, there was laughter and there were tears, there was admiration and there were fears, but most of all there was LOVE, and lots of it.

I can't say that Sonia and I were best friends, or even great friends, to tell you the truth, I don't really know what Sonia thought of me, I do know that I must have been OK in her eyes, because I am sure she would not have been so open and willing to share with me if I was not.  In fact, she probably would not have given me the time of day.  Sonia did not mince words and she did not suffer fools.  I loved her forthright manner and the way she stood up for things that she believed in.  

Sometimes I felt she judged people too harshly and too quickly, but as it turns out she was quite often right.  Only on the odd occasion was she wrong, but when she was wrong, she was never afraid to admit it, albeit begrudgingly.  Often telling the person to their face, "When I first met you, I thought you were an idiot! But you have since proved me wrong..."

Sonia had many friends and over such a broad spectrum of people, young and old, fat and thin, country bumpkins and cosmopolitans, from all walks of life and every corner of the earth. The diversity of people at her memorial confirmed that.

I knew Sonia when she was a kid, not very well because she went to the Catholic School in Myrtleford and lived in Porepunkah, but her parents ran a shop in Bright.  Primarily a Ski Hire Business, but it had lots of other beautiful bits and pieces, souvenirs and such.  But they also sold beautiful pieces of silver jewellery.  It was where I bought my first piece of "real" jewellery, a gorgeous broad silver ring, that appeared to have been laced together with silver thread.  It was always my favourite piece of jewellery. As I have gotten older and fatter, so have my fingers, so a few years ago, I took out the ring, polished it up and gave it to another friend, who said she loved it too.  She has since moved to Vientiane in Laos, so I may never see that ring again. But that's ok, so long as it is loved.

I became re-acquainted with Sonia again in my 20's after she had returned from her overseas adventures.  She was the girlfriend of one of my then work colleagues.  I always though she was a bit snooty, and "up herself", but in hindsight it was probably because I was an inexperienced country girl and she had lived the high life in Spain and elsewhere in Europe, dressed immaculately and always, always looked stunning.  She was intelligent and beautiful, everything I wish I could be.  I guess I was intimidated and a little bit jealous.  And since hearing people speak at her memorial service, I am not the only one who felt this way.  A colleague related that they had told Sonia, "it's lucky we've got to know you and like you, because if we didn't know what you are really like, we would probably hate you!"  This conversation had stemmed from the fact that Sonia could drape herself in a Hessian bag and still look remarkable.

In Sonia's most recent incarnation in my life, she returned to me as a work colleague.  She worked hard to achieve many things, but often hit brick walls, she could have become disillusioned like so many others, but her determination was one of her greatest characteristics.  She did not like to take NO for an answer, and would often try to find different ways to achieve the same outcomes. I have grown to love Sonia and her nuances over these years.

Sonia was a teacher, a leader, a master chef, a supermodel, a friend, a mother, a daughter, a sister and a wife.  She lived a huge life in a short time. She achieved things most of us would never even attempt. She unfortunately will not grow old amongst us, she seemed to get more beautiful as she aged! Like a fine wine I guess.  But like good wine, it is gone all too soon.

I will miss you Sonia, your advice, your support, your beauty, your confidence and your wicked sense of humour. But I know your spirit will always be with us.

Brain Download 2

I am sad to say that I believe that the spirit of the competition has been lost.

I am sad to say that I believe the media bares the biggest responsibility for this.

I am sad to say that I believe a lot of parents are also bare responsibility for this.

Why is the public so obsessed with being number one?  Why do we have to win the 'Gold' medal? What's wrong with Silver or Bronze?  What's wrong with just being in the elite company of the "Olympians"

The Australian media (particularly the commentary from Channel 9) has been atrocious.  The expectation placed on our athletes has been way over the top, no wonder they berate themselves for winning a silver medal.  Yes, they win a silver medal, they don't lose a silver medal!

I must say that I have seen nothing but supportive parents interviewed at the Olympic games. They are proud of their offspring, and they have every right to be.

Where the parental issues arise is that it appears to me that kids are raised these days in a manner that sets them up for a fall.  Kids do not know how to lose.  They are pandered too, an pamper and give treats when they lose.  Consequently they do not understand how to lose with grace and humility.  They pout, and whinge and complain.  They blame the umpires and referees, they blame their team-mates, they blame their coaches, but they don't take responsibility for themselves.

Don't take this a a blanket statement.  As with everything there are always exceptions, but it appears to me that this downward spiral of attitudes from the media and  subsequently the competitors is getting worse not better.

So what if we are second best this week in London; so what if you only get to take home a silver medal, does that make Australia any less of a nation.   At the last world championships we had lots of winners, does that make the second place getters losers?  I don't think so.

Australians need to pull their head out of their arses, and realise that we are not losers by any stretch of the imagination.   We are a strong, resilient and prosperous country, and we need to remember that.  We are the LUCKY country.  We are a small nation that loves our sport.  We are a small nation that has always punched above its weight when it comes to sporting competition.  When you consider the United States has population of 311 million + ; Great Britain has a population 62 million +; China has 1.3 Billion+;  and little ol' Oz has 22 million +;

it is an absolute miracle at all that we have been so successful in the past.

It is time to go back to the basics and be thankful for what we have.  Be thankful that we have come through our short history relatively unscathed.   We have wide open spaces, fertile soil, a strong economy, a culturally diverse population, plenty of food and water, a spectacular array of resources.  We need to remember who we are and where we came from.  

The native population survived in this country for thousands of years, untouched and undisturbed; the rest of us are immigrants, and the earliest of those immigrants were mainly the lowest of the low from England, Ireland and beyond. Convicts made up of petty theives, prostitutes, murderers and various other criminals.  

Since that time others have come, people with nothing looking for a better life.  People with something, looking for more.  And still they come in 2012, the poor, the downtrodden, the persecuted, all looking for something better, and what is their first choice - Australia, the lucky country.

We live in the best country in the world, with access to the best of everything else.  Lets not destroy that with the incessant negativity that is creeping into our psyche.  Stop cutting down the tall poppies, celebrate them, encourage them, love them, embrace them.  And as for the up and coming performers, the next generation, some will be at the top of their chosen fields and some will not, but they are not losers, they are winners, by living their lives in the manner that they want to. By giving of themselves to their chosen career, they are doing what they want, win, lose or draw.

Come on Aussies, celebrate who we are and where we have come from and what the future has to offer.

Live long and prosper.  

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DOWNLOAD ONE - RACISM

Sitting here watching Q & A on ABC 1 (www.abc.net.au/tv/qanda) - Part of the discussion has been on racism.  This is a subject that is close to my heart.  Why? Because I hate it.  It is cruel and unfair and I really just don't understand it.


Is it fear? Is it indoctrination? When does it start?  Why does it start?


My personal experience and this may sound somewhat odd, but I am being totally honest.  I did not see "colour" or the differences in others until quite late in my childhood, maybe 11 or even 12 years of age.  And I guess the only reason I began to see these differences was because they were being pointed out to me, by adults and other children.


My best friend in primary school was a first generation Australian, the daughter of Italian migrants.  We used to sit together and eat our lunch, me with my white bread, smeared with butter and vegemite (sometime it might be really interesting and have some processed cheddar cheese in it!).  Tina with her Crusty homemade Pasta dura bread, with homemade salami, tomato, "real cheese".  


I would look at her sanga, smell the tang of the garlic infused salami, and wonder what the hell she was eating.  She would look at my soft squashy white bread with the yeasty, smelly, black goo squished in between, and wonder what the hell I was eating.  Suffice to say we would never have swapped sandwiches.  How we have changed, now we pay big money for good crusty bread, artichokes, vine ripened tomatoes, specialist small-goods and fresh salad greens.


That was the only thing that stood out to me as being different.  Not the fact that Tina had dark blonde wavy hair, dark olive skin, and beautiful hazel eyes.  She wasn't black, or Asian, but she did stand out from the "Aussie" kids; but I never noticed.


I remember watching television in the early 1970's, with all talk about Vietnamese and Cambodian refugees flooding into the country after the war and the destruction caused by the Khmer Rouge.   I did not understand what all the fuss was about, they were just people trying to escape to a better life.  Just like I would hoped my family would if they were in the same situation.  What were people afraid of?  Is it just the fact that these people came from a different country?  That they spoke a different language? That they ate different food?


Why did Italians and Greeks get called 'Wogs or Wops'? What did that mean?  What did they do?  Was Tina a Wog too?  It sounded so nasty and cruel.  


Poms and Krauts; Nips and Chinks; Abo's and Frogs - Why do we continue to use these derogatory terms?  Surely as a nation we have grown and learned that there is nothing to be afraid of.  Not all dark skinned people belong to gangs!  Not all people from the middle east are involved in terrorism!  Not all aboriginal people drink themselves into a stupor!


We need to embrace other cultures, to learn from them, to teach them, to grow with them.  I feel like I have guided my sons in a direction that makes them curious, rather that afraid.


I married a the son of German migrants; my sister married the son of Italian migrants. 

My youngest son will visit Germany and Austria for the forth time in six years this summer; he has also spent some time in Italy. He is hoping to do part of his "Gap" year volunteering at an orphanage in Kenya.

My eldest son has studied International Relations at University and has been to Germany twice, and has also traveled to Austria, France, Ireland, Scotland and England.  


My middle son has been to Germany once,  all of them have lived with German families in German homes and attended German schools, and all of them have gained a great deal from their experiences.


It is time that Australians realised how lucky they really are.  Why do they think people are putting their lives at risk to get here.


We are all just people, some are good, some are bad, some are black and some are white, some are tall and some are short, some are fat and some are thin.  We are all just people.  Let's just all learn to live together, in Peace and understanding.


BRAIN DOWNLOAD COMPLETE......................